"Work, worry toil and trouble are indeed the lot of almost all men their whole life long"

... Arthur Schopenhauer

I want to have a beer with this man. I think he's dead though. Must've been a homeowner.

Frankie and I were on our night out tonight. When we got to the library I noticed this book Happiness. Frequent readers of this site probably won't be surprised I'm somewhat susceptible to picking up a self-help book here or there (I am NOT, however, engaged in any 12-step programs). I grabbed it and began reading. It's by Daniel Nettle and is anything but a self-help book. It's a historical treatment of the pursuit of happiness (psychological perspective). It's a fun read so far.

I did look around a tad paranoid to see if anyone noticed me checking it out. Fortunately, the library check out upc symbols are on the back cover. Helps.

Suck it up kiddies

As a parent, the story this morning on NPR entitled Firms Hire Consultants to Handle Needy Workers caught my attention. Seems, about 20 years ago, parents realized that kids need a good sense of self-esteem and imparting that became part of their repertoire of good parenting techniques. Consequently, the resulting new workforce, as claimed by NPR, needs a pat on the head daily to feel loved by the company they work for.

Well, children, get ready. While some companies might do all this shit to continue where your parents left off, most won't. You'll actually have to like your work to be satisfied. One company even had a ritual of giving awards for loyalty and a good job, daily. Ha, ha, ha.

My wife and I put Frankie's self-esteem high on the priority list, but we also emphasize a strong work ethic by being exemplars. Jobs often suck, really, really often, but, we go off everyday and work. And, the reward is merely doing the job you were paid for - and doing it well.

I don't believe the sorry cases in this story ended up this needy because "everyone got trophies for soccer" and the like. If kids were raised with a strong sense of self-esteem, the contrary would exist. They wouldn't need these menial rewards that marginalize their work. This behavior is a consequence of indulgent/permissive parenting (e.g., the way Paris Hilton ended up) where the kid was excessively rewarded for anything they did and the parents never put up boundries for behavior. Self-esteem can never be a bad thing for children (or adults).

Quick woman, hand me my shot gun!

Despite all the problems with our new home and the fact we'll be paying so much for a solution (whatever it is), Frankie might have to skip college, our new home is absolutely stunning. Big enough (not huge), enough bathrooms for when Frankie turns surly and a deck that could hold 20 or so sloppy adults chugging Margaritas adults enjoying wine and cheese.

It also came with racoons. Live and dead ones.

A couple weeks ago, I wanted a window in the basement (ground level, below the deck) to be bricked up. Had my masonry guy over (how many homeowners have a regular masonry guy?) to take a look. He made me open the window because he said "you never know what you're getting into". Indeed. We opened the window to find that mystery smell that challenged us for so long was a racoon that climbed into the window well and died! All I could think is he must also have been a homeowner with a home that had too many problems to fix and needed a rest. As Frankie says, poor little guy.

Judging from the organisms I found on him, he died somewhat recently. There was another small varmint beside him that had died long ago.

My masonry guy just put his hands on my shoulders, laughed heartily and said "Dave, looks like you got some clean up work to do before I go near that window". I closed the window and walked Keith to the door feeling a bit uneasy. He was laughing his ass off all the way out. The masonry guy left and I was faced with: Trish not home, Frankie needing dinner, horrid flashbacks of a dead racoon in the window well, and squash roasting in the oven for a pasta dish I was preparing.

In the manliest act of my adult life, I sat Frankie at the tv, told her I had to "do something", ran into the basement and bagged the two varmints, ran them and their slimy, dripping carcasses to the trash, nearly puked, cleaned up around the area from which they were taken, ran to the kitchen, washed my hands like I had OCD, took the squash from the oven, tossed it with pasta, basil, pine nuts, lovely tomatoes and olive oil and served up dinner.

Frankie ate happily while chatting about her day and I sat at the dinner table, pale and trembling. I didn't eat much.

Now, we've learned a new family has moved in. I blocked the window well this weekend but there are still places to get in beneath the deck. The Mom depicted in the image has 4 of her offspring under there nursing.

Life on the ravine ... better than the graffiti monsters we had in the old neighborhood - I guess.

Kids are not green

Recently, someone at work solicited me to participate in a project called "Sustainable Clintonville" modeled on Sustainable Worthington. You know, the whole green revolution thing: buy locally, bike a lot, walk a lot, decrease your carbon footprint, etc. Who doesn't think this is a good idea (except for people who buy Hummers)?

My wife and I moved to Columbus 7 years ago with no expectations of having a child - not like we didn't try (long story). One day, biology was good to us and voilá, we had our girl. Don't misunderstand, we're darn lucky to have her; she's a gift, a funny, happy go lucky gift. She is also as resource intensive as a Hummer H1 (the big one). No, not the diaper thing (although that's no small waste pile for disposables or no small water usage for non-disposables), it's the way a kid's built.

1. A post secondary education can easily run 120K (in today's dollars); so, it's likely both parents will work and with that comes daycare - two cars, two commutes, two baby seats - consume, consume, consume (we live close enough to our jobs to walk but because of daycare, we drive). I should also mention getting daycare at OSU, closer to where we live, is approximately a 48 month waiting list.

2. Shop only at local farmer's markets. This is a fantasy for us at this stage of her development (not exactly, we go occasionally, it's just an extra stop). She's currently 4. Leisurely shopping to find the best produce isn't exactly what kids like. Kids like running in random patterns burning off steam. And, they can run about 6 straight hours on a peanut butter sandwich. Consequence? I shop at Giant Eagle because I can buy food and socks in one stop.

[Maybe a share in a CSA would be an alternative to consider?]

3. Walk/bike everywhere. Frankie, I'm ecstatic to say, can ride up to 2 miles at a go on her bike (with training wheels). Unfortunately, she gets off her bike every two revolutions of the crank to pick the most beautiful flower in the world, the
Dandelion. And, she has only recently started to walk in straight lines. Kids don't possess the utilitarian goals adults do of walking someplace to get there. They live to smell the roses. We all did it. Can't blame them or deny them this part of their lives.

4. Planning meetings for sustainable action plans. Just typing the words make me glaze over. The agenda-driven meeting can only be tolerated by adults after years of institutionalization. A neighbor, friend and member of our local Simply Living community said their meetings aren't particularly kid friendly.

5. Installing a geothermal heating/cooling system in a pre-existing medium size home (ca. 4-ton capacity) costs approximately $25,000. Problem? See #1. Long term savings but, shit, 25K on top of your mortgage. Maybe for a child-free couple.

6. Kids and, more importantly, parents, NEED playgroups. Chances are, you drive to them. Then soccer, etc. Drive, drive, drive ...

Seems you can be lynched for excessive driving or shopping at Wal-Mart, but no one flinches when a child is born. Kids are a gift, an incredibly challenging gift, but are also resource intensive and make it especially challenging to green up.

(ps I should also note, obviously, every kid's different. E.g., some kids you can toss in a stroller and do everything on foot all day long. Our daughter's stroller was given away when she was very young, she wanted no part of a stroller, ever.)

From Simply Living's Calendar
Sustainable Clintonville Initiative. Inspired by the growing interest, number of activities and influence that the Sustainable Worthington group is experiencing, other Central Ohio communities and neighborhoods are starting a similar ad hoc citizens group for their locale.

To explore this opportunity,
contact 263-0942 or
HBallard@otterbein.edu
Thu May 17, 6:30-8:00 pm
Whetstone Library, 3909 N. High St.

... hmmmm

maybe it was just a mood swing

We were out after 8:00 on a Saturday!

Trish and I finally gave in to a sitter and went to Studio 35 Saturday night. Our first outing in about ... I don't know, about 4 years. We saw Blades of Glory. I don't know if it's the weight that comes with parenting, but a light-hearted silly movie was what we desperately sought - and found. "These two men put the bone in Zamboni" pretty much sums it up. Well cast and ridiculous. I think it had the feel of the Christopher Guest fake documentaries, but maybe that's giving it too much credit.

A real reveiew here by Amy Biancolli.

Someday, none of us will be sick

• Trish's been recovering all week.
• Frankie barfed throughout the night (does she look sick to you?) and Trish took care of her all night - I owe you big time hon.
• I've been unhealthily obsessed with fixing our home with all its nifty surprises the sellers left us (and forgot to disclose; hee, hee, aren't they funny?).

We should be able to go out in public together by June. Hopefully.

... speaking of addiction

Funny that the day after I had to tell the world about my addicition to Starbucks, I decide a tad less caffeine in my diet would be a good thing. In fact, anyone who's met me for more than a few nanoseconds would probably agree this is a prudent move.

I am not quitting.

I'm shooting for a total of one 8 oz caffeinated beverage a day or less. I've had half today. I'm saving the other half for my daily meditation in the Worthington Starbucks. It is where I pick up a beverage, breath deep and get ready for the daycare pickup, sprint home, dinner prep, walk the incontinent dog from hell, eat, walk dog again, shuttle Frankie around the block on her bike, feed the cat (like he deserves it) and start the nighttime routine (bath, vid, books, bedtime, walk the neurotic dog again) and things then quiet down for the final 5 minutes before we pass out.

Yeah, I could use less caffeine. We'll see how that goes.

my addiction

I know why I'm addicted. I'm a people person!

I can't help it, I love Starbucks. I like the local yeah, me too shop almost as much but I'm definitely hooked on Starbucks. I like the bold varieties of coffee served fresh and always piping hot. But, even though I'm kind of a scientist (or at least I used to be) and work mostly in solitary mode, I like Starbucks because no matter which franchise I visit, the people working seem ... happy. Is it a big cover-up? Are they beaten during their interviews to appear happy or they won't get the job?

Buy coffee from McDonald's or Tim Horton's and you'll receive coffee from someone you know despises their occupation. Buy from Starbucks and you'd think the "barristas" are all stinking rich and just working to pass time and talk to people. Whatever the reason, it works. At least on me. A daily stop for a short regular or decaf (you know the size short is not on the menu, it's for the in crowd) is part of my routine that is, unfortunately, the highlight of my 9-5.

I've always found occupations of any kind fascinating and Starbucks seems to have an enormously successful formula. I can't figure it out.

4-5 Year old soccer league ... this should be fun

This and next Saturday on the field at Whetstone Park at 10:00 is a sign up for the upcoming 2007-2008 soccer league for tots (starting at age 4, $45 per kid). This should be a blast.

She runs, I sit, I rest, she runs. I think I'll pay $90.

Update
We're in!!!!!!!!!!! We got there to sign up at 9 and just a few people around. Frankie will play in the Tiny-Tot league this coming September!! We went and watched a Tiny-tot game for a while so she'd see what was coming. She looked a tad uncertain but persisted in her desire to play. We even happened to see a game where one team was coached by her own pediatrician, Dr. Matt.

I'm at Indie Bloggers today.