Boo!

Dragon

I know I'm supposed to put Frankie's pics behind password protection, but I just couldn't resist. Look at this kid!! If that doesn't bring a smile to your dreary, rainy day, nothing will. And, I just noticed on the radar (the modern day version of a window the office worker), the rain is just about over.

Tricks or treats, here we come! Of course if it was a hailstorm out there, she would be going out. She's been talking about this "holiday" for weeks now.

Just one remaining snag. We don't have our candy yet. We're waiting on Mom to bring home the goodies. Otherwise, it's a Rolling Rock for the kiddies.

This is Kip Hawley's Brain

pumpkin guts

Actually, I'm playing with layouts to make blog entries out of my flickr photos.

And, Kip is an idiot. So, the effort isn't entirely wasted.

More on MoMo, etc.

This weekend, I spent my spare seconds on Flickr. It's an awesome community and a convenient way to share photos that would likely bore your friends. There's lots of talented photographers right here in Columbus and they meet up once in a while too.

Also, with the cold approaching, I've been scoping out new indoor venues for the kiddies. MoMo² on Olentangy. Looks like fun. They serve food (no liquor unfortunately) and have bowling and they said kids are just fine. Woo hoo! I think we'll be there soon to check it out.

When you're kicked out into the streets ...

Despite many offers from generous friends, we still find it hard to knock on someone's door when we're removed from the house for a showing. So, unfortunately, we eat out a lot lately. Tough to make that a healthy habit. But I just read the menu at Go Oodles (tough to get the right number of o's in the url - be persistent. It looks pretty awesome. Cheap and healthy.

The other place I want to try is MoMo² on Olentangy. Asian food and bowling all in the same huge building. Nice looking place. Can't find much about online except for the fact they have bubble tea. I think we'll be visiting both soon.

Can't wait to see Frankie try to bowl!

Suze

This month on Angie's List, they're having a report drive. Submit at least 15 reports for service done in the past 12 months and you get a free digicam. It's a cheapie but fine for our needs. I shot Suze with it.

Last Sunday, I took her to Petco for a nail trim, bath and ear cleaning. She came back smelling pretty much the way she did when she left. But, at least her nails were trimmed. Now, if we could just keep her from pooping on the floor when we have prospective buyers in the house, we'd be fine.

Terrorists Infiltrate Boston's Logan Airport via Dunkin' Donuts

In a previous post, I described how well I was treated going through Boston's Logan airport security with a disability. Having barely passed their series of security challenges, I was relieved to finally arrive to my gate and see just how secure I was.

How naive. I never would've imagined Dunkin' Donuts would be the way in which terrorists would infiltrate our highest levels of security. But they apparently did. After all, the counter was manned by a Somali (practically Iraqi) and every state trooper in the gate was huddled around that counter and weren't moving.

I felt like I was Drudge breaking the Monica Lewinsky story. Seeing all these cops meandering about a Dunkin' Donuts was so shocking, I stopped in my tracks, clumsily grabbed for my camera, stood up in the middle of the gate area and snapped 3 images of these guys. Not one flinched.

Trying not to arouse suspicion (obviously they had cased this situation for months and were not making any sudden moves) they took their donuts and coffee and went and took a nice long rest in the area beside the donut shop. I could only guess how they were strategizing to put the final moves on those terrorist bastards. I almost wished I missed my flight to see the boys in action.

Just awesome.
cops boston logan airport security terrorism donuts

Now we wait ...

Our house has been on the market 3 weeks. We've had about 8 showings, 3 open houses and bought about $50 worth of flowers. There's LOTS for sale and buyers are pretty darn picky.

So, now we take a small break from openhouse showings and get to live in our house on weekends (we'll vacate for showings). The wait is a killer. I think we'll be owning a couple homes for a while.

The image is our most recent arrangement of flowers. Vlad will be eating these over the next few days.
columbus oh real estate

Kip Hawley is a Ginormous Ass

Note the fictitious adjective. I figure this will throw the TSA off my trail. How often will the search phrase "ginormous ass kip hawley" or permutations thereof be used?

I'm returning from Boston today and just passed the security checkpoint at Logan. I've been waiting about an hour now and the TSA agent hasn't bought me dinner. I'm beginning to give up hope. He did pat me down quite thoroughly. I must've misinterpreted the body language. Next time, I'm requesting a female.

Why the pat down?

It started back at the security line when the TSA agent dutifully commanded me to remove my shoes.

"No," I replied.

The chubby little fellow puffed up like a cat whose turf I peed on and just as the veins in his head were about to burst, I ended my pause and finished my response: "I wear leg braces and can't walk if I take my shoes off" (a blatant lie I use to taunt them). He immediately deflated and directed me to the GE Entry Scan³. Or, as I was soon to learn, the "puff scanner". It is an undoubtedly overpriced, tax-funded contraption some overpriced contractor made for the government. I complied. The next TSA agent told me it was used to detect explosives.

You walk into this phonebooth-sized thing, step on the footprints and a soothing female voice instructs you to stand still while red lights reinforce the message. Suddenly, about 5 wisps of air hit you from 5 directions on your upper body simultaneously. Then the voice tells you when you see the lights turn green you may escape leave the chamber. I believe if explosives are detected, the beam from above immediately transports you to a room where the only sound you hear is John Ashcroft singing America the Beautiful for eternity. Whoosh. The doors open and I'm ready for the next hurdle.

Me, my deadly shoes and leg braces step up to the metal detector.

beeeeeep

The audible terrorist alert went off and I got to receive the personal treatment I've come to expect from the TSA. And, lucky me. I got a trainee! I know the routine, stand on the mat, arms out, silhouette scan with the magic wand, arms down, unbuckle (no peeks), pat down, sit down, shoe/brace swab. Oh, my, gosh. Negative!

It worked! While I occupied several thousand dollars of tax-funded manhours, my bag was quietly slipping through the scanners carrying gel deodorant NOT PLACED IN A 1.0 QUART ZIPLOC FREEDOM BAG. It was dangerously sitting in a side compartment of my bag and they missed it. Woohoo.

Me and my sweet smelling armpits were off to wait in the gate area.

So, next time you want to smuggle something by the TSA:

1. Demyelinate your motor neurons and get leg braces.
2. Go through security and don't take your shoes off.
3. Tolerate the special attention (men, don't shave, this increases your probability of fitting in like a terrorist).
4. Smuggle anything you want in your carry on. Worked for me.

On a serious note, who the f@#k is advising Kip? Toiletries are now allowed in a 1 qt. ziploc bag to be scanned separately, all shoes removed, bend over whenever the TSA agent says so? Why is the TSA turning into Federal thugs? These measures are ridiculous. Vote November 7, the country needs you.

jack booted thugs TSA kip hawley ginormous ass

I voted too.

You can now have an absentee ballot in Ohio and you don't need a reason!!!!! No more taking Frankie to the polls to stand in long boring lines. I can now vote in the comfort of my own home. And, it only costs 63 ¢ for postage.

Hooray.

And, Charlie Brown died today. Go give your condolences.

Elephants kept us sane

This weekend, Trish, Frankie, Me and to some extent, Vlad were essentially evicted from our abode. We had showings at 9 am Saturday, 10 pm on Sunday and an open house on Sunday smack dab during Frankie's naptime. So, we kept busy, and kept busy, and kept running from place to place keeping ... busy. By 4 pm yesterday, while Frankie was busy on SesameStreet.com sitting on my lap, we crashed and napped. The only thing keeping us going was Frankie's energetic version of the Elephant Song:

One Elephant Went Out to Play
One elephant went out to play
Upon a spider's web one day.
He had such enormous fun (arms stretched out and big emphais on enormous)
That he called for another elephant to come.
ELEPHANT!
(Repeat, with 2, 3, 4 and 5 elephants.)

Frankie sings it in reverse starting with 5 elephants. When it gets to one elephant the web breaks and the song is done. It was the best part of our weekend.

parenting real estate insanity

No One Cares What You Had For Lunch

Margaret of MightyGirl recently published a book entitled No One Cares What You Had for Lunch: 100 Ideas for Your Blog. It's paperback and a really fun read for anyone who blogs. I just read it at our local B&N while my daughter and Trish were at Target giving me some peacetime for my birthday. I enjoyed it immensely and may even buy a copy.

Now I know why my traffic is pathetic. I have no niche. Pshaw. I don't care. Dave's Beer is about silliness. I have other pursuits that I'd love to have traffic, but DB is not one of them. It's definitely worth a read though. Thanks Margaret.

Definitely a good antidote for blog depression.

2 days and counting

Our house has been on the market nearly 48 hours. The animals sense change. Vlad disappeared into the attic for the better part of Wednesday. Suze had two accidents after the carpets were cleaned. And, last night hail probably nailed a couple of our slate shingles.

Cha-ching.

Fortunately, no tornadoes.

Tonight, my love is giving me a night off so I can go see a preview of Jesus Camp. I'm meeting a fellow Columbus blogger there.

Thanks hon. A much needed break.

ps, The Atheist Mama just put up her review. It captures it well, but go see it for yourself, if you dare.

Like a ton of bricks ...

It's out there. Our house finally hit the market tonight. When we moved in, it was clad in wide planks of aluminum, decorated with nailed-on pink plastic shutters and extremely inappropriate and chintzy gingerbread details on the porch.

We saw its potential.

It didn't come easy. It didn't come fast. It came slowly with heaps of heavy "discussions", but we turned that house into a home. We (and an army of contractors) brought it back to its original 1920's form. With lots of colors, inside and out. It illicted remarks akin to those one would hear walking a chocolate lab puppy. People would look at it, smile and compliment - often.

It's a nice looking place, we've got great neighbors (and one neighbor who's a dandelion farmer) and a good location. Why leave? A raucously busy youngster and lots of stairs to make a long story short. And, it's a tad small. It still hurts. Bad. We'll make new friends, keep in touch with former neighbors, have more space and a really cool ravine in our backyard, but we'll miss this place.

Call Eve if interested.

To my love ...

                           *         *          *
           *    *    *    ***       ***        ***  *    *    *
          ***  ***  ***   ( )   *   ( )   *    ( ) ***  ***  ***
          ( )  ( )  ( )___( )__***__( )__***___( )_( )  ( )  ( )
      ____( )--( )~~( )   `~`  ( )  `~`  ( )   `~` ( )~~( )--( )____
    |~____`~`  `~`  `~`  `     ( )    `  ( ) `  `  `~`  `~`  `~`____~|
    | `   ~~~~~------_______ ` `~`  `    `~`  _____--------~~~~~   ` |
    |     `    `     `      ~~~~~--------~~~~~     `      `    `     |
    |   `    `    `     `     `  HAPPY `   `  `    `     `  `        |
    |  `       `   `    `     `         ` `     `    `     `     `   |
    |    `       `     `     `  BIRTHDAY `   `   `   `   `   `    `  |
    | `       `      `   `               `     `   `  `   `          |
    |_   `       `  `  `   `   `  `  `     `  `  `  `    `      `   _|
      ~~~~-----____________________________________________-----~~~~

Thanks to Corey L. Nelson (corey_lynn_nel...@cup.portal.com) from alt.ascii-art

Recent observations / predictions?

My way to ask for a wacom drawing tablet for christmas.
gas prices economy mortgage rates